What are conservatives trying to conserve? They treat the environment like a cross between a cat box and an ashtray so that’s out. They’re willing to invade not one but two whole countries and are angling for third to keep energy company execs in silk suits and fancy caviar; so energy conservation is a big no. And when it comes to conserving a tax dollar these fiscal conservative, free-market nut jobs spend money like a debutante with her daddy’s credit card. Who would think that government could actually get bigger, deficits could actually go up and these bastards couldn’t find the money to save a rubber duck from a bathtub, little less a whole city full of trapped people in New Orleans. It begs the question: What the hell are they trying to conserve?

I could go on and on about what they’re not conserving from the trillions spent on illegal wars to the financial bailout of $21 trillion, to the trillions more that will be headed their way to keep the banks solvent after Europe craters but there’s not enough space on the internet to cover that. Nope, I have an answer and you’re not going to like it but since I can’t sleep at night with this knowledge the least I can do is share it with you.

Conservatives have been cutting back on the Bill of Rights the Constitution and the Ten Commandments and they are doing an admirable job because as near as I can tell they are down to one of each. One Amendment and one Commandment and now that I think of it they are actually down to only half of the one Amendment they’ve decided we should all keep. The Amendment would be the second one: A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed; except the first part about the militia so they’ve conserved this down to: The right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed. The Commandment would be the second one: You shall have no other gods besides Me. Besides making me very nervous when I travel around the Bible Belt or say through Southern Illinois; I am also having a serious problem with the number two.

This is a handy paring when you think about it because if you encounter someone with the wrong God, without that pesky sixth Commandment about killing in the way you can and perhaps should kill them and thanks to the Second Amendment. For our brothers and sisters in the Tea Party this would be what they call a Second Amendment solution. This is how one gets to water the tree of Liberty with the blood of patriots and tyrants and all. It’s what makes it all right to carry guns to a town hall forum on healthcare. It’s what makes it all right to have law makers carrying concealed weapons on the floor of the Wisconsin assembly and openly carry guns in the gallery above but not be allowed to film or record the proceedings, or carry signs of any kind expressing any opinions in those same galleries. It’s what makes it okay to carry a semi-automatic weapon across the street from a Planned Parenthood office but pushes for a personhood law that would make it illegal for a woman to enter a Planned Parenthood office.

The simple truth is that they will go as far as they are allowed to go and if they are allowed to kill us they will do so. Criminals are not hostage to their consciences because they simply do not possess them. They are not hypocrites when they mouth Christ's words and act as if they are escapees from the depths of Dante's Hells because they are simply devoid of any values to betray. They will only go as far as they are allowed to go and it is up to us to become ungovernable by the greedy, stupid and the cruel. We must look right into their soul-dead eyes, be willing to fill up the jails and take away their ability to travel and act with impunity. When will we find our collective will and stop them? That’s why the Occupy movement upsets them. The greedy know they are being called out, the stupid need scapegoats to blame their fear on and the cruel relish the thought that they are holding so many cards in what they feel like is the final ideological battle they will have to fight when they are done threatening, beating and jailing us and we leave them no choice but to do what Abu Gharib and the PATRIOT ACT tell us they’d like to do to all of us. 

We have to stop them because it is simple. They are criminals, cowards, bullies, sadists and hypocrites who hate our country’s foundations. They hate our laws, our diversity, our respect for the other, our embrace of diversity and belief in complexity and in so many ways, our very way of life. They hate us because laws, community and the very concepts of checks and balances keep them from taking what they want, whenever they want from whomever they wish. We must stop them because surely they will stop us and are doing everything in their power to drown our democratic values in a bathtub full of mercury-poisoned water.

Don Washington is an AP-Award winning writer, political expediter and problem-solver, proprietor of the agitational, informational, interactive website and show the Mayoraltutorial.com. You can follow him as drobsidian on Twitter and he is the keeper of two large and mischievous cats.