by Don Washington on 2012/08/07
As the election gets closer and closer like some terrible statue from a Dr. Who episode the Tutorial suspects that given the "quality" of the media coverage you may not know why you are voting for Obama or Romney or even if. Based on what's in the media and the level of media conversation here are ten reasons to vote for either of the two major candidates that hold about as much content as voting for Obama for say bailing out Wall Street and the Healthcare Insuance industry or for Romeny for a new round of tax cuts and having run the Olympics and MAYBE Bain Capital?
I'm Voting for Obama Because:
1. Someone has to keep protecting Wall Street from justice.
2. No has done more for the small arms and healthcare industries than our Muslim-Fascist-Anti-White Christian-Gay President.
3. The irony of a black guy not defending Civil Liberties or the Bill of Rights is spit take funny.
4. He probably still remembers how to shop for his own food.
5. He's not ALL black.
6. Hey, we still need the other half of the Keystone Pipeline damn it.
7. The other guy has no shadow or reflection.
8. He does not worship Space Jesus, he's a Liberal-Muslim-Fascist damn it. Ron Paul 2012!
9. Americans have become cynical about politics.
10. He sounds and writes laws EXACTLY like the Mitt Romney of ten years ago.
I'm voting for Romney Because:
1. It's called the White House damn it.
2. At least I'd know WHAT the President was going to do to abandon the poor... the present suspense is way too stressful.
3. It would be a great step forward for android rights.
4. His father supported Civil Rights and he's not yet disowned him.
5. He has never lied to me about comfortable shoes.
6. The brazen honesty of cynicism and oligarchy is welcome break from hope and change.
7. Money equals intelligence?
8. Business needs the certainty that they will never pay taxes... wait a second they already have that.
9. His political positions prove quantum theory is real... THINK about it.
10. I'm tired of the billionaire underdog losing.